3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize