Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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