Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
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