Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize