why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize