dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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