the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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