I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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