girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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