I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
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I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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