Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Randomize