Rock
Scissors
Fuck
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize