I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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