FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
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There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
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And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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