OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize