he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize