The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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