I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
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I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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