All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
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You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize