The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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