I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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