who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize