I think i peed on brittanys purse
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
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She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
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Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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