I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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