i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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