shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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