I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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