He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize