why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Couch. On fire.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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