There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize