I swear she didn't look like that last week.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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