Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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