Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize