i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
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I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
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It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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