Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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