the new term for farting is butt boxing.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize