can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize