i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize