I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize