the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
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