dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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