I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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