I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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