Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize