I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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