Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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