They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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