I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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