You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
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I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
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You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize