I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize